Movie Review: Cockneys Vs. Zombies

Directed by: Matthias Hoene


Starring: Harry Treadaway, Rasmus Hardiker, Michelle Ryan, Jack Doolan, Georgia King, Ashley Thomas and Alan Ford


With a title as dull as Cockneys vs. Zombies you might think you’ve found another cheap horror movie. Yes it looks pretty cheap, but it’s also a fun flick.

This is the kind of movie that needs to establish itself within the first five minutes. Let’s face it, we want to see zombies. And by god, do we get zombies right away. At a building site, workers dig into an old tomb that’s filled with dead bodies. This is where the mayhem starts. After the workers are bitten by the undead the flashy intro starts, accompanied by the song Monster by The Automatic.

We get to meet Terry (Hardiker) and Andy (Treadaway), two brothers, delivering meals on wheels for retirement homes. When they deliver the meals at their grandfathers (played by English veteran Alan Ford) home, he gives them a speech about doing more with their lives, than just bringing food to elderly people.
In fact the two brothers have some other plans. Because the building developers are looking to expand and they want to demolish the retirement home. For the love and respect of their Grandfather, the brothers decide to rob a bank.

With the help of a paranoid friend, a crazy ex-soldier (with a steel plate in his head) and their lovely niece Katy (Ryan) they set their plan into motion. Needless to say, a lot goes wrong.

This is the kind of movie that will entertain you, if you’re looking for some “Brainless” escapism. The zombies look pretty good and the humour is funny at times, there are definitely some laugh out loud moments present.
Another good choice is to show the Zombie outbreak from two different points of views. On the one hand we have the brothers and crew doing a bank heist, trying to survive the zombies and each other. At the other side of town we see the people in the retirement home working together and show us that old people can still kick ass.

In the end it you could do a lot worse than Cockneys vs. Zombies. It’s not as witty as Shaun of the dead, but if you like zombie movies in general, you'll probably end up enjoying it.




+ Zombies are fun
+ The acting is tolerable
+ Michelle Ryan makes a great female heroine

- CGI blood
- The ending drags a bit

Overall score:

3 out of 5